Last night on the way home from work my car needed petrol so I stopped at the coop supermarket to fill up and ended up filling in more ways than I planned.
I bought a massive bag of marshmallows which I ate whilst driving home, then as soon as I got through the front door I stuffed my face with 5 caramel shortcakes, 6 bramley apple pies, a muller corner yogurt, a bag of honeyed cashews and a bowl of pea soup with buttered bread. Then brought it all back up again.
It's getting serious now. It is like being possessed and I don't have control over it anymore. It just takes over me and I force myself to binge until I can hardly move or breath. Then I am sick until hardly anything comes up and my throat is hurting so much I can't bear it anymore. Even then I am never convinced it's all been emptied. So I usually down a glass of water and jump around to create a washing machine effect in my stomache, then go for a couple more rounds with the toilet bowl until just clear water come up. Disgusting I know.
My throat is still hurting today. But I was so scared I would gain weight and luckily I weighed 7st 10lbs this morning! Just another 7lbs or so to go. It is a difficult weight to be at though because it could go either way from here...I could easily go slide back up to 8st. But if I am well behaved and stop bingeing and exercise more I'll push on and take it down to single figures! I will be thrilled when I see 7st 8lbs on the scales!
I am going to be so good this weekend I swear.
